Oh, wow.

I haven't been on in a week. I coulda sworn I was going to stick to this thing better than I have been, but ohwell. I've been busy. Or, not really busy. Just tired. & sick. I missed school Wednesday because I was in so much pain from my Lyme Disease.
Spencer has been wonderful this week. We've been lazy & cuddled every night this week, which has been really good for me because I haven't felt like doing anything. He bought me a slush puppy tonight, which was great.
I keep having to remind myself that I have him. That nobody else can take him from me. It's just hard to have the low amount of selfesteem that I have & see all these girls that he's talked to or dated or anything in the past, because I know that anybody else would easily pick them over me in the looks department. I know I have him, but there's still so much insecurity within myself, & I guess there's still a sort of lack of trust, too.
I am so tired of drama. There has been just nonstop drama that has nothing to do with me going on today, & I'm like... wtf. I just feel like I need to sit away from the computer when it's going on & let it play out.
I think there's some tension built up that I need to release. I want to find a physical release for everything. Like kickboxing or something. I need something that can calm me down.
I'm really looking forward to Valentine's day this year, which is weird, cause normally I'm like, ehhh whatever. But this year, I really have something to look forward to instead of just a normal day. & I have something planned to make Spencer's day wonderful, too.
Thing's are hopefully looking up around here. I hope... I need to start feeling better, though. I've been in excruciating pain for the past few days. If anybody wants to get me a massage therapy ticket or something, that would be amazing.
Anyways. I'm in pain now, which means I'm going to lay down. G'night. <3