"Perfection is not just about control.
It is about losing control."
Oh, how true that quote has become recently. In my eighteen years on earth, it was my eighteenth birthday that changed my control. Years of holding my tongue, biting my cheek, heeling my thoughts was all blown away the moment I met Spencer.
I realized tonight, & have been realizing a lot lately, that he is the reason for my happiness now. He has shown me that I can be myself, & that people will still love me for that.
So far, this year's started out pretty great. I got to bring it in with Spencer, & then I've had amazing days since then.
He bought me flowers tonight, & they are so gorgeous. I love him much.
You know, I've lost basically all of my friends, but I'm absolutely positive that I'm okay with that. I've realized that it's not how many people are in your life, but how much life is in your people, & the few I've got in my life right now keep me going. It's brought me a lot closer to my family, & it's gotten my mind back on track with school & my future.
I'm done talking about all that now.
On to the real topic of this post.
Is perfection based on being in control of every single movement, or is it more based on the ability to completely grasp the insanity that lives in every single moment of every single day?
Spencer & I watched Black Swan tonight. The entire concept was thrown about that the girl's perfection was what was ruining her, & that -in hinesight- by her losing that perfection & control, she preformed perfectly.
I believe I have found recently, that the way Natalie Portman portrays the Black Swan, in the way she completely loses all concept of reality & just pushes herself out of her comfort zone & into complete insanity, is more along the lines of what I consider perfect.
The idea that anything could happen at any moment, & that in that moment something wonderful can happen, is by far my definition of perfect.
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